Actually, the t-shirt is probably worth more

The Onion, the online humor site by which all others are judged, had this dandy up earlier in the week:

Ohio State Uses T-Shirt Blaster To Pass Out Diplomas


In response, The Onion's staff has been flooded with emails from Tosu fans reading, "Tressel OWNS The Onion!," "What kind of food does Tressel eat? Onions, bitches!," and, of course, "Fuck The Onion!"

(HT: JF and SH)

Two Minute Drill

Today, we have the ultimate potpourri in the Two-Minute Drill. Behold...

* Above the Law, a legal tabloid is down to the final four in its quest to crown "America's Coolest Law School." In one bracket, UVA is squaring off against Georgetown. And in the other, Michigan faces NYU. Click on the link above to vote. Remember, Michigan fans, we have to take these Final Four opportunities where we can get them. (HT: T9)

* Don't Drink and Drive...unless you're on a zamboni. A NJ zamboni operator had been charged with drunken driving after a fellow employee at the ice rink told police the machine was speeding and nearly crashed into the boards. Police said Peragallo's blood alcohol level was 0.12 percent. But...

A judge ruled that the four-ton ice rink-grooming machines aren't motor vehicles because they aren't usable on highways and can't carry passengers. In a related story, Ohio University football coach Frank Solich is said to be looking to lease a zamboni. (HT: JK)

* A Chinese woman survived a six-story fall because she landed in a huge pile of shit. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently the woman was hanging laundry out on her apartment balcony when she somehow fell. But, "luckily," workers just happened to be emptying the septic tank which had not been emptied for quite some time according to the new story above.

* A sincere tip o' the hat to the MSU hockey team which captured its third NCAA title (and its first in 20 or so years) by beating Boston College Saturday night in the finals.

* Uh...did Roger Ebert really say that? While he was sober?

* What do Bob Dylan, the Rose Bowl and Victoria's Secret models have in common? Uh, we're not sure either but our friends at Cole Slaw Blog have managed to find a connection.

* Finally, several of you emailed us regarding Ohio volunteer fire fighter Steven Cole. He was arrested recently for drunk driving and indecent exposure. How does one get arrested for both of those things at the same time? Well, uh, check out his "mug shot." It might offer a few clues...


Yes, nothing to do with college football. And it would be a stretch to even knock OSU on this one. But that photo (and the others in the link above) warranted some sort of mention for an off-season post.